Be my piece.
I love a good puzzle.
It's a mindless activity that sometimes requires your mind.
Does that make sense?
You can think about a load of other stuff and still manage to take a piece from the pile and find its match.
I'd been searching for puzzles for a while before I found this one and I was so excited, that I bought it without really looking at it.
"Puppies are cute."
Cool, puppies it is.
But when I dumped out that puzzle and realized how many parts of the puzzle had very similar colors, it was NOT cute.
"Leggo, Pandora's Box."
That puzzle took me weeks. Legit.
Every time I sat down to do it, I was like "Nah, dawg. It's a no for me."
I didn't have the patience to try piece after piece hoping it would fit. So I'd try a couple, let Cade try a couple, and walk away.
(Or sit on the couch and ignore it)
Mind you, this puzzle was on my coffee table. In the middle of my apartment.
I was looking at this thing like 737 times a day.
I almost scooped it back into the box a couple times. If for nothing else, because one of my girls was coming over.
But I didn't want to quit.
So I'd leave it out.
And no one asked about it.
The most I got was "I love puzzles!" Without the offer to help.
My life feels a little like that puzzle. So many pieces. Too many pieces to try out in a million different spaces. So I walk away. But I always come back. I always say to myself "Ok, Meg. Give it a little time. Try this out. See how it goes." And then I do what I do best. I strategize. I figure out how to fit what, where. And every piece that fits feels like a huge sigh of satisfaction and fuel for the next.
One night, when Cade had gone to her daddy's, I decided I was gonna finish the stupid puzzle. I was going to let myself get frustrated and keep going. After a while, I thought to myself, "How can I strategize with the pieces that are left?"
So I organized them by similar shape. That way, when I came across an empty space with that opposing shape, I could try all the pieces in that pile.
It took FOREVER to organize them all. And most of the puzzle was already completed. But it helped. It gave me a sense of direction. I knew I wasn't far from the end.
I was recently (and so randomly) given a DOPE opportunity. It was so far out of left field, I almost turned it down.
It didn't look like "my thing". In fact, it was so far from my thing, I couldn't understand how the hell I was asked to do it in the first place. How I looked at all like an option. But alas... I said yes.
And I still can't wrap my mind around how so many more opportunities and conversations came from that random, out of left field thing.
But it feels like the beginning of something. It feels like all the pieces that were mixed together became smaller piles of similar pieces and then became the perfect fit in so many first attempts at finding a match.
I haven't been this excited and terrified about my craft in years. Because I get to be a part of so many dope things at once. I get to do the thing that I've been dying to do. The thing that I've been building my gift to do.
When I was nearly finished with the puzzle and I had once piece left... I couldn't find it.
I wish I could make this up.
The entire time I was doing the puzzle, not finding matches, I was swearing that Cade had hidden some of them.
With that last piece, I was SURE of it.
I was flipping the rug, pulling out cushions, looking under the tv, in her book basket, in the entertainment center... fucking EVERYWHERE.
I finally took a peek under the couch.
And there it was.
A single piece.
And it fit into the space so perfectly, it was almost like the puzzle took a deep breath and sucked it into place. ::SSSSLEWP::
And that's what I'm waiting for.
A single piece.
To fit so perfectly, I can finally take a deep breath.